My Pops

In Loving Memory

December 15, 1947 - October 8, 2011

The only comfort I have right now is knowing I was there to hold your hand all day yesterday.  To give you a drink of water with the sponge straw and make sure your lips didn't get too dry.  Helped adjust your position on the bed to try to keep you comfortable.  I listened for any sign of hope in the doctors and nurses voices and I watched the monitors as they beeped away at every pulse, rate and pressure.  I was there when the nurses had to clean you and change your sheets because you couldn't hold your bowels.  I helped to keep you covered because I know how cold you get.  And I tried to make out every word you were uttering and waited for everytime you opened your eyes for a chance you might recognize me.  I watched your wife, who has loved you and cared for you through thick and thin, who I haven't appreciated until now, break down when she knew we were losing you.  She has to go home to the empty apartment every day now, where once she had a million things to do for you she now has nothing but her own thoughts and sadness.  I am praying for her.  I had to have that phone call with Scott that no sister ever wants to have.  I am praying for him.  I was there with you and I am thankful.  You are not in pain anymore and you are no longer suffering.  You have always been so strong and so positive...I wish I was more like you.  Even in the end, you never really showed us your true pain and all that you had been enduring these past months.  You were the best dad two kids could ever have.  You always put us first and made being a family so important.  We have so many great memories to cherish.  I just pray that you knew how much you are loved.  Sometimes I didn't show it and a lot of times I was ungrateful and undeserving, but you loved anyway.  Your grandsons are so young and will struggle to remember their time with you, but I will be there to ensure they never forget.  I will never forget.  You are a true hero in every sense of the word and I have been so blessed to call you my dad.  If everyone could be so fortunate as Scott and me to have someone like you for a dad, the world would truly be a better place.  I just hope you knew that.  I wish we could throw the ball around one more time....thanks for teaching me how not to throw like a girl.  My heart aches so much right now and these are just some thoughts that help get me through to the next minute.  I love you more than you could ever know and I already miss you so much.  Can't believe you are gone.
Love,
Punky