My Dad's Memorial and Jay's Tribute

This is the picture I chose to put on the front cover of the memorial I made

We held the service for my dad yesterday at Kitsap Lake in Bremerton, not far from where the Northlake house is located and where my dad lived for 20+ years.  He fished there all the time but he used to curse the jet skiers and fast boats because they interrupted his peace and quiet....we found it humorous and only fitting when we saw a jet skier go flying by just before the service.  After a headache dealing with the funeral home all week, we all agreed to just have the cremation done there (my dad's request) and do the rest on our own.  Funeral homes are a business and they play on your emotions.  It is a bad mix and I've learned over the years, burying four other family members, not to just sign a check and let them take over. We knew exactly what my dad wanted, the simpler the better, and no one could do it like we could.  I am just glad my dad's wife agreed to let my brother and I take some control. 

The day was beautiful and everything we wanted for my dad was perfectly in place.  I had called my pastor from the church we've gone to for 25 years and he came out with no hesitation to lead us in prayer and commit my dad's ashes to the lake.  I also called the Naval Honor Guard to request their services, which are free for a military veteran but the funeral home wanted to charge us for.  And it was my brother's idea to do it at the lake, so I called our local MWR office to see if we could reserve the park on the lake which is owned and operated by the Navy and is now closed for the season.  They graciously obliged and we had the entire park to ourselves for as long as we needed it on Sunday.  My brother rented some chairs and set them right down at the lakeside and Nikki bought a cake and coffee, and brought a bunch of flowers that her co-worker had bought for the occasion.  I made a large collage of pictures of my dad over the years and I also created the memorial to be handed out.  It couldn't have been more simple or more perfect.  We were so pleased with all the people that came to pay their respect. 

During the playing of TAPS, my brother and I walked down to the lake and spread my dad's ashes into the water.  Then they did the flag folding and presented it to Scott.  The honor guard did an amazing job and it renewed my love of the military.  It was very touching and a very selfless and generous gesture on Vicky's part to elect my brother to receive the flag instead of herself.  I know it meant a lot to him.  The sun was shining and despite all the tears being shed, it was a happy moment of time and I think my dad would've been pleased.  Even my boys were quiet and very well behaved during the entire ceremony. 

Jay was the "MC" and guided the ceremony along.  It wasn't long, only about 15 minutes, but it still needed direction and Jay was equal to the task.  I was so very impressed with him.  He honored my dad by being in full dress uniform and paying tribute with a beautiful speech that he says is traditionally spoken when someone retires.  But Jay changed the wording to fit the occasion and it was moving.  Here is what he said:

"Good afternoon friends, family and shipmates.  For 63 years this sailor has stood the watch of life.  As a son, brother, father, husband and friend, this sailor has stood the watch.  In those years when the storm clouds of life were seen brewing on the horizon of history, this shipmate stood the watch.  Many times he would cast an eye ashore and see his family and friends standing there, needing his guidance and help and providing a hand to hold during those hard times, and for all of us he loved, he still stood the watch.  He stood the watch for 63 years.  He stood the watch so that his family could sleep soundly in safety and comfort each and every night and we knew this sailor diligently and faithfully stood the watch.  Today we are here to say, Shipmate the watch stands relieved.  Relieved by those you have loved, guided and led.  Pops, Tom, Brudda, Papa and Chief, you stand relieved.  We have the watch."

And he ended it with a salute.  It was really the most beautiful thing I've ever witnessed or heard and so appropriate coming from Jay to my dad....a guy that he shared a love of the military and fishing with.  My dad was in Jay's corner from day one and that faith in him never faltered, even when my own faith in him did at times.  My dad was very proud to call Jay his son in law and I think he would've felt very honored.  He deserved only the best and no funeral home could've captured it better.