Not So Strong

Thanksgiving Day 2010

In the midst of a stressful move from West coast to East coast, living in cramped quarters, trying to take care of three little boys and be supportive of my husband's transition into his new job...my mind can't help but wander into sadness over the loss of my dad.  Been trying to hold it together for the sake of holding it together....fearful to let my guard down lest I start sobbing in the middle of Safeway.  And on most days, it is not a challenge to do so.  I just try to stay preoccupied and not think about it.  But sometimes I just can't be that strong.  Tonite, as everyone else sleeps I reluctantly looked back at posts from a year ago, fully knowing they would make me sad, but yet wanting to remember a happier time when we spent Thanksgiving with my dad...didn't think it would be my last Thanksgiving with him, but something told me then that I better make it memorable and special.  And here we are.  Not even a year later and my dad is gone.  I am thankful that I have my memories but so very sad that he is not here to talk to about this adventure to DC.  He was always our biggest supporter when it came to the military transitions.  Having been in this same boat before, he understood like no one else could and he encouraged like no one else could whenever I would get discouraged about being in a new environment.  I haven't let myself be this sad in awhile but with the impending holiday and being 3000 miles away from my brother, tears were inevitable.  My heart aches and tonite I will let it.

I miss my Pops